I just got an idea. As anyone who knows me knows that I love gymnastics. I've been doing it since I was 5, and I've never gone more than a couple months without going to the gym and practicing my tricks. However, now that I am 26 and a half, it might be time to pack it up.

Last week, I went to the YMCA for the adult open gym. Now, I've gone to adult open gyms in lots of different cities, and it's always the same old shit. First is stretching when I lament the fact that I still can't do the splits. Then back bends, which get worse every year, and handstands. Then we line up and do easy tumbling like cartwheels and rolls. My back extension rolls always impress.

Next, it's time for diagonal tumbling, but I'm already tired so I take a break. Then it goes, round-off filp-flop, round-off flip-flop series, and round-off flip-flop back. I used to do layouts next, but I stopped because it hurts so much if you land them at the wrong angle, and I don't even want to bother. Then I freak out about doing a full because the first one is always funny and not in a good way. Like, if I don't finish the twist before I land, I will be on the floor for the rest of the practice. After lots of self-talk, I get the courage to throw the first one. It's exhilerating, but, after I land, the coach always gives me some stupid advice ("remember to go up!" where else am I trying to go, dickwad??), not understanding that my first one is always bad. By this time, I'm exhausted and can't believe that there's still an hour or two left. Then I putz around trying to think of other skills to try.

To be continued...